Moneyball on the big screen...will it suck?

It’s hard to believe, but there’s a highly touted General Manager of a last-place MLB team who has an impressive resume of zero World Series titles and zero World Series appearances in his 13 attempts. In addition, his team has convincingly missed the playoffs every season after he hired the Best Man of his wedding as Head Coach. This has resulted in his team consistently drawing an annual attendance that ranks near the bottom of the league. Yet, many people praise his unique approach to building a ball club’s roster. In fact, there’s a book about it titled “Moneyball” and the movie is set to debut on the first day of autumn.

I’m not a supporter of the Oakland Athletics, but falling into the categories of being a fan of baseball, a fan of Moneyball’s author Michael Lewis, and living a few miles away from the ballpark in which the primary setting of the film takes place, I will definitely watch this movie.  The question is…Will the people outside of these categories (which are a lot of friggin’ people) be interested?

With that said, the target audience is limited to a small set of specific demographics and no one expects this movie to shatter box office records. Face it, Scott Hatteberg and his high OBP will excite viewers about as much as the possibility of the film containing a shower scene involving “the old scout.” However, it won’t be a flop with the aide of Brad Pitt playing the lead role as A’s general manager, Billy Beane.  I find this very ironic. The premise of Moneyball involves using a successful approach to building a ball club’s roster on a tight budget. Obviously the limited payroll hinders the GM’s ability to sign big-named MLB stars.  For Moneyball to attract a wide audience, casting one of the top ten richest actors in the world to play the lead role is a necessity. Then again, if you took Angelina Jolie out of the picture (in real life…she isn’t in this movie), Brad Pitt would have a high OBP and score every time. Warning: Man crush love for Brad Pitt is engaged.

Casting Brad Pitt will increase national appeal of the movie and I know that the douchiness of Beane couldn’t be happier about the coolness of Pitt playing him in a film. This leads me to feeling bad for Beane’s right-hand-man Paul Depodesta.  Depodesta served as Billy Beane’s brainiac assistant during his time in Oakland. If Beane gets Brad Pitt, then surely Depodesta gets someone who has respectable appeal to the ladies, right? Wrong, he gets a future contestant on “The Biggest Loser,” Jonah Hill. Yeah, the fat kid with the fro from Super Bad. 

Despite reports of Depodesta admiring Jonah Hill as an actor, I believe this has to be insulting to him. In fact, Depodesta refused to have his actual name used in the movie because he believed the character loosely illustrates who he is in reality to the point where the depiction is simply inaccurate (His name has been changed to Peter Brand). But we all know the real reason why he isn’t too thrilled about how he is portrayed in the film…

Paul Depodesta (Above -Real Life)

Paul Depodesta's character in Moneyball (Above)

Back to ticket sales…Even with the film taking place in the Bay Area, I don’t see the casual A’s fans lining up to see this movie. After all, a ticket to the movies cost more than the cheapest A’s ticket and we all know how well the A’s fans fail to fill up “Understock.com Stadium.”  Maybe if they see the movie on a Wednesday the ticket price will only be $2 and every one will receive a voucher for a free hot dog. And if the amount of people that show up to see this movie mirrors the attendance at an A’s game, will theater management tarp off the empty seats?

In all seriousness, I really enjoyed reading Moneyball and I look forward to seeing it in theaters. I’m also happy for my friends who are A’s fans that get to witness their team receive national attention out of an area currently dominated by their cross-town rivals. But for a baseball philosophy introduced by a general manager that has had limited, short-term success and to be made into a movie, it kind of boggles my mind. I guess the only importance is entertainment and that’s what Michael Lewis has delivered (The Blindside), but even then, I’m curious to see how they’ll manage to do this successfully.



Did All Dodgers Fans Move to Vancouver?

What do most people remember when asked about the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Not Landon Donovan’s goal or even the winner of the tournament, but Vuvuzelas. Completely irrelevant to the game of soccer, people focused a great portion of their attention toward the annoying plastic horns that were blown by the masses of fans for 90 minutes straight. Unfortunately, a similar irrelevant response might be used to answer the same question about the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals…They’ll remember a ton of idiots in Vancouver engaging in a full blown riot which was likely fueled by too much alcohol.

Anyone who has visited Vancouver probably knows how challenging it is to buy beer in the city from a place other than a bar or restaurant. In addition to the inaccessibility to get some brewskies in bulk, it doesn’t come at a fair price. Based on the photos and videos I saw of the riots last night, the challenging pursuit of alcohol is a good thing and the thought of enforcing a city-wide ban of the substance even crossed my mind. “Prohibition in a Canadian city?” Yup, sounds like blasphemy.

My own experience with the inconvenient pursuit of purchasing beer in Vancouver took place on February 21, 2010.  I was at the Vogue movie theater on Granville Street preparing to watch team USA beat team Canada in the round-robin game for Men’s Olympic Hockey.  Vogue is a great venue to watch a game of such magnitude, but the only problem (other than Canadians outnumbering us by a ratio of 20:1) was the $7 cans of Molson being sold at the snack bar. My friends and I refused to pay this amount of money for sucky beer.

I probably shouldn’t call their beer “sucky” here. I might trigger another riot…

With just over an hour to spare before game time, we thought it would be best to visit a convenient store and pick up a 24-pack. I grabbed my backpack and headed out with one of my friends. We walked a couple blocks to a 7-11, but did not see their beer selection. After being informed by the clerk that they didn’t sell alcohol we asked where the nearest grocery store was. “4 blocks thataway,” the clerk directs us. We voyaged on 4 blocks “thataway” until we reached our destination. Again, no luck with the beer. We asked the clerk where we could find some alcohol in this friggin’ town and he responded with “The liquor store, duh.” Apparently alcohol isn’t sold at convenient or grocery stores in Vancouver. They have 6 locations in the entire city designated as the only places where alcohol is sold without going to a bar or restaurant.  The clerk provides us with directions on how to find the nearest liquor store and unfortunately it involved about 6 blocks in a direction not close to the theater.

We venture on at a quick pace until we finally reach what is arguably one of the most crowded places in the city.  We grab a 15-pack (I know, weird) of Budweiser and bring it to the register. The cashier says “That’ll be $30.” 30 DOLLARS FOR 15 CANS OF BUD! Talk about getting raped by supply and demand. We ask for some lipstick because we like to at least look pretty while getting screwed, give the cashier her Monopoly-looking Canadian money, and trek back toward the theater. As we get close to Vogue, we come across some fellow American dudes that looked like they were hiking through the Sahara. They all stop and look at us with wide eyes when one of them quickly points at the beer symbolizing Redneck-USA and exclaims “WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FIND THAT!” Instead of responding with “The liquor store, duh.” We gave them directions to the place that sold over-priced and somewhat metric packaged beer. 

Upon entering the theater, I smuggled the beer inside with the use of my backpack. The Canadians around us were amazed at our “clever” scheme of bringing in the contraband. What surprised me was the amount of people willing to pay for the over-priced beer at Vogue.  Sure enough, a few beers deep they transformed from polite “eh-saying” Canadians to uncivilized-whale-harpooning-hosers. It was incredible, I felt like I was at Dodger stadium. 

I understand that the drunken idiots that I ran into that night do not represent all of Vancouver, so I gave the city the benefit of the doubt. Plus it was the Olympics and emotions were running high.  Fast forward about 15 months later to San Jose, California when the Sharks faced the Canucks in the Conference Finals. Hundreds upon hundreds of Canucks fans flocked south and uh oh…alcohol is easily accessible here. I have never witnessed so many drunken morons outside of a NASCAR event in my life. After game 4, my wife and I removed our Sharks jerseys, got in our car, and started our drive home. A few miles outside of the city center, an SUV full of 30-something-year-old Canucks fans pull up to a stoplight next to us. These guys have no idea that we are Sharks fans, but one decides to roll down his window and shout obscenities at my wife. Classy stuff! Again, these degenerates do not represent the entire fan-base, so I’ll give everyone else the benefit of the doubt.

Now for the shenanigans that took place last night: cars overturned, police cars on fire, stabbings, looting, unconfirmed reports of a Bruins fan being pushed off an overpass (Crime in Canada? B-b-b-b-but Michael Moore said this doesn’t happen north of the border). Well these people don’t represent the entire…I’m going to stop myself from finishing the rest of that generic line. When my observations of such atrocious behavior drastically outweigh any positive observations, it might be safe to say that the Vancouver Canucks have a pretty classless group of supporters with the exception of a few opposed to the usual saying of “every fan base has a few bad apples.” I have met a few really cool Canucks fans, but they are heavily outnumbered by those who give the fan base a bad name. 

Back to my original point about alcohol…as an advocate of inebriation myself, I’m not lobbying for prohibition in Vancouver, but Jesus!...these guys might need to be cut off city-wide after the first period expires. Anyway, thank you “Karma God” for not letting these asses enjoy a cup.

I dare you not to laugh

2011 Stanley Cup Finals: Can they both lose?

…if it were up to a lot of Sharks fans, they would. This is one of those series where it’s hard for me to root for either team. How do I resolve this predicament? Easy, it’s a matter of who I want to see lose more than the other.

Why I don’t want Boston to win:

1.    The chants of “Thank you, Boston” can no longer ring through the Shark Tank

2.    2 years of San Jose being eliminated in the Conference Finals by the Stanley Cup Champions slowly chips away at the “choke” label.

3.    Talk about a stupid accent over there

Why I don’t want Vancouver to win:

1.    Raffi Torres is a turd

2.    The undeserved criticism that Luongo takes makes me laugh

3.    Stuff like this…

Yes, these guys represent all of Vancouver

Predictions:

The given:

1.    Fans of Boston will chant “USA, USA, USA” even though they have more Canadians on their roster and less Americans than Vancouver.

2.    Tim Thomas will have a shaky voice when addressing the media.

3.    Phil Kessel will take heat.

4.    I will hear limited coverage on local radio about this series as long as that Lebron James guy still plays that game where over-grown men bounce a ball, jump around, and try to put it in a hoop while avoiding contact. What? …Basketball sucks.

5.    BizNasty will tweet about scoring in Vegas and not so much on the ice.

What probably won’t happen, but I’ll say it:

Before the season started I picked Vancouver to take the whole thing. I haven’t felt so confident about a Stanley Cup Champion pick in September since the 2006-2007 Anaheim Ducks. I’m not tooting my horn about getting this right; it depresses me.

When late March arrived, my thoughts on who had the best chance of winning the cup changed. At this point, I still felt that Vancouver was the best team…when healthy. Face it, the journey through the Varsity League vs. the walk through that J.V. East will end up with a team representing the West in far worse physical condition than the team coming out of the East. This is the only chance that Boston will defeat Vancouver. With that said, I’ll go with the bold/stupid prediction that the fans of the team that “Kahbuhlay” plays for will win this in 6 games with Tim Thomas stealing a couple and next year we’ll see all those people who claim to be a part of Red Sox nation saying “That David ‘Krejdgcee’ guy is the next Wayne Gretzky.” Gahd, I hope so…as long as it means that those jerk Vancouver fans in the video above get to go home crying. There, now everyone hates me.

Season's End

It’s that time of the year again, the annual sequence of emotions that I begin to endure immediately following the San Jose Sharks elimination from the playoffs. After years of bleeding with this team, I have nailed down these emotions in 5 stages: Anger à Depression à Acceptance à Partial relief at the sight of sudden schedule flexibility à Uneasiness until late September.

Anger…

ensues the second the game has officially ended. I’m silent for approximately 30 seconds while I feel my temperature rise. Finally, I let out a few incomprehensible words that are unsettling to those who are nearby. Then I stand up, pace around, find isolation, and attempt to avoid social media at all costs as this greatly intensifies the emotion. In fact, I try to avoid my computer entirely. If this entry had been created during this stage, it would have consisted entirely of F-bombs and these: “jerqrqcfrecqer.” I eventually go to sleep. Enter Stage 2.

Depression…

occurs when I wake up on my bed/lawn/gutter the next morning. The blurry events prior to my uncomfortable slumber replay in my mind and the wound is fresher than ever. When I find the strength to start the day, concentration does not exist and productivity for my obligatory day-time activities is at an all time low. I enter the interwebs as if I’ll find solace from what many of us view as tragedy, but this just pours salt on the open wound. This stage of bleeding is the worst and can last days. If this entry was created during this emotion, readers foreign to the world of the San Jose Sharks would put me on suicide watch. Enter Stage 3.

Acceptance…

takes place when someone or something finally grants the heartbroken fan such as myself the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Yes, these are lines are from the Serenity prayer that is recited during Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. No, I did not learn this from abusing alcohol after Team Teal was eliminated and attending such meetings, but I’m sure many have. The bottom line is, the outcome of the Sharks season is out of my control. Do not dwell on the things you cannot change. I’m at this stage now and it is quite cathartic. Enter Stage 4.

Partial Relief…

happens when one realizes that the time that was recently entirely dedicated to the Sharks’ schedule is now open for what other people call “life.”  My poor cat finally has a clean litter box. I no longer have to sell my Giants vs. A’s tickets so I can watch game 3 of the Conference Finals as my team is down 2-0 in the series. Bummer, I really wish I had that orange Snuggy they gave away that game. Your loved ones have you back and they are no longer concerned about your physical and mental health. Life is somewhat normal again, but do you want it to be? Enter Stage 5.

Uneasiness…

will always be in the back of one’s mind. Uneasiness will exist until the Sharks exorcise the demons of underachievement by winning it all. This emotion will be at its strongest during the remainder of the off season, but the excitement of a “new beginning” during training camp and preseason games will temporarily mask this feeling. Is it September yet?

“Are you some kind of masochist?”

Someone not familiar with the culture of sports would ask “Why? Why put yourself through such angst and torment that is out of your control?” Until recently, I did not know the answer to this question and I’m still figuring it out. Other than the obvious enjoyment I receive from watching what I believe is the most entertaining game in the world; outside of my wife, nothing stimulates my brain more than my passion for professional sports. The analysis of stats, the colorful cast of characters that participate in the game who often carry intriguing upbringings, the friends made along the way because we share this common interest, and the highs of when my team does win a game will always outweigh the lows.

I cannot wait until next season.

Note: The video below clearly illustrates what could happen while entering the cruel world of the internet during Stage 1…

Introduction

In 2007 I ate over 500 tacos…seriously. Recently surpassing the quarter century mark of my life, I am married, own a house, a job, a quadruped, and have completed a small amount of travel…queue it

Outside of this, my life is consumed with supporting professional hockey and baseball while frequently consuming beer in the process. Soccer is starting to play a role. Here’s a brief resume of my fandom:

Hockey

San Jose Sharks season ticket holder since 2007

Attended over 250 Sharks hockey games since 2005

Attended Sharks games in 10 different NHL arenas across the U.S.A. and Canada

Attended Chicago Winter Classic

Attended Vancouver Olympics

S.J. Sharkie was at my wedding

Baseball

San Francisco Giants fan since day 1

Attended over 400 Giants games in my lifetime

San Jose Giants 200,000^th fan in 2009 – Such a prestigious honor

I don’t need beer to enjoy this game, but why not?

Soccer

One of the few who cares enough to support the MLS

You can find me in section 109 with the Quakes support group, 1906 Ultras

Attended the first game in MLS history where Wynalda scored the lone goal

Much of my blog will be sports driven, but occasionally I’ll document my travels and will throw in whatever happens to be on my mind. Taco Bell and Chipotle are often on my mind.