2011 Stanley Cup Finals: Can they both lose?

…if it were up to a lot of Sharks fans, they would. This is one of those series where it’s hard for me to root for either team. How do I resolve this predicament? Easy, it’s a matter of who I want to see lose more than the other.

Why I don’t want Boston to win:

1.    The chants of “Thank you, Boston” can no longer ring through the Shark Tank

2.    2 years of San Jose being eliminated in the Conference Finals by the Stanley Cup Champions slowly chips away at the “choke” label.

3.    Talk about a stupid accent over there

Why I don’t want Vancouver to win:

1.    Raffi Torres is a turd

2.    The undeserved criticism that Luongo takes makes me laugh

3.    Stuff like this…

Yes, these guys represent all of Vancouver

Predictions:

The given:

1.    Fans of Boston will chant “USA, USA, USA” even though they have more Canadians on their roster and less Americans than Vancouver.

2.    Tim Thomas will have a shaky voice when addressing the media.

3.    Phil Kessel will take heat.

4.    I will hear limited coverage on local radio about this series as long as that Lebron James guy still plays that game where over-grown men bounce a ball, jump around, and try to put it in a hoop while avoiding contact. What? …Basketball sucks.

5.    BizNasty will tweet about scoring in Vegas and not so much on the ice.

What probably won’t happen, but I’ll say it:

Before the season started I picked Vancouver to take the whole thing. I haven’t felt so confident about a Stanley Cup Champion pick in September since the 2006-2007 Anaheim Ducks. I’m not tooting my horn about getting this right; it depresses me.

When late March arrived, my thoughts on who had the best chance of winning the cup changed. At this point, I still felt that Vancouver was the best team…when healthy. Face it, the journey through the Varsity League vs. the walk through that J.V. East will end up with a team representing the West in far worse physical condition than the team coming out of the East. This is the only chance that Boston will defeat Vancouver. With that said, I’ll go with the bold/stupid prediction that the fans of the team that “Kahbuhlay” plays for will win this in 6 games with Tim Thomas stealing a couple and next year we’ll see all those people who claim to be a part of Red Sox nation saying “That David ‘Krejdgcee’ guy is the next Wayne Gretzky.” Gahd, I hope so…as long as it means that those jerk Vancouver fans in the video above get to go home crying. There, now everyone hates me.

Season's End

It’s that time of the year again, the annual sequence of emotions that I begin to endure immediately following the San Jose Sharks elimination from the playoffs. After years of bleeding with this team, I have nailed down these emotions in 5 stages: Anger à Depression à Acceptance à Partial relief at the sight of sudden schedule flexibility à Uneasiness until late September.

Anger…

ensues the second the game has officially ended. I’m silent for approximately 30 seconds while I feel my temperature rise. Finally, I let out a few incomprehensible words that are unsettling to those who are nearby. Then I stand up, pace around, find isolation, and attempt to avoid social media at all costs as this greatly intensifies the emotion. In fact, I try to avoid my computer entirely. If this entry had been created during this stage, it would have consisted entirely of F-bombs and these: “jerqrqcfrecqer.” I eventually go to sleep. Enter Stage 2.

Depression…

occurs when I wake up on my bed/lawn/gutter the next morning. The blurry events prior to my uncomfortable slumber replay in my mind and the wound is fresher than ever. When I find the strength to start the day, concentration does not exist and productivity for my obligatory day-time activities is at an all time low. I enter the interwebs as if I’ll find solace from what many of us view as tragedy, but this just pours salt on the open wound. This stage of bleeding is the worst and can last days. If this entry was created during this emotion, readers foreign to the world of the San Jose Sharks would put me on suicide watch. Enter Stage 3.

Acceptance…

takes place when someone or something finally grants the heartbroken fan such as myself the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Yes, these are lines are from the Serenity prayer that is recited during Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. No, I did not learn this from abusing alcohol after Team Teal was eliminated and attending such meetings, but I’m sure many have. The bottom line is, the outcome of the Sharks season is out of my control. Do not dwell on the things you cannot change. I’m at this stage now and it is quite cathartic. Enter Stage 4.

Partial Relief…

happens when one realizes that the time that was recently entirely dedicated to the Sharks’ schedule is now open for what other people call “life.”  My poor cat finally has a clean litter box. I no longer have to sell my Giants vs. A’s tickets so I can watch game 3 of the Conference Finals as my team is down 2-0 in the series. Bummer, I really wish I had that orange Snuggy they gave away that game. Your loved ones have you back and they are no longer concerned about your physical and mental health. Life is somewhat normal again, but do you want it to be? Enter Stage 5.

Uneasiness…

will always be in the back of one’s mind. Uneasiness will exist until the Sharks exorcise the demons of underachievement by winning it all. This emotion will be at its strongest during the remainder of the off season, but the excitement of a “new beginning” during training camp and preseason games will temporarily mask this feeling. Is it September yet?

“Are you some kind of masochist?”

Someone not familiar with the culture of sports would ask “Why? Why put yourself through such angst and torment that is out of your control?” Until recently, I did not know the answer to this question and I’m still figuring it out. Other than the obvious enjoyment I receive from watching what I believe is the most entertaining game in the world; outside of my wife, nothing stimulates my brain more than my passion for professional sports. The analysis of stats, the colorful cast of characters that participate in the game who often carry intriguing upbringings, the friends made along the way because we share this common interest, and the highs of when my team does win a game will always outweigh the lows.

I cannot wait until next season.

Note: The video below clearly illustrates what could happen while entering the cruel world of the internet during Stage 1…

Introduction

In 2007 I ate over 500 tacos…seriously. Recently surpassing the quarter century mark of my life, I am married, own a house, a job, a quadruped, and have completed a small amount of travel…queue it

Outside of this, my life is consumed with supporting professional hockey and baseball while frequently consuming beer in the process. Soccer is starting to play a role. Here’s a brief resume of my fandom:

Hockey

San Jose Sharks season ticket holder since 2007

Attended over 250 Sharks hockey games since 2005

Attended Sharks games in 10 different NHL arenas across the U.S.A. and Canada

Attended Chicago Winter Classic

Attended Vancouver Olympics

S.J. Sharkie was at my wedding

Baseball

San Francisco Giants fan since day 1

Attended over 400 Giants games in my lifetime

San Jose Giants 200,000^th fan in 2009 – Such a prestigious honor

I don’t need beer to enjoy this game, but why not?

Soccer

One of the few who cares enough to support the MLS

You can find me in section 109 with the Quakes support group, 1906 Ultras

Attended the first game in MLS history where Wynalda scored the lone goal

Much of my blog will be sports driven, but occasionally I’ll document my travels and will throw in whatever happens to be on my mind. Taco Bell and Chipotle are often on my mind.